Souha (souchipi) wrote,

Of hidden truths and lies 1/1

Pairing: Donghae/Hyukjae
Genre: General
Raiting: PG| 708words

Donghae thinks that Eunhyuk is Eunhyuk, and nothing will ever change that. He also thinks that Eunhyuk can’t be Hyukjae, but Hyukjae can actually be Eunhyuk.


Donghae thinks that Eunhyuk is Eunhyuk, and nothing will ever change that. He also thinks that Eunhyuk can’t be Hyukjae, but Hyukjae can actually be Eunhyuk.

Eunhyuk is a created image of a boy with twinkled eyes, gummy smile and everything. A boy with a large sense of humor and a boy with a shining and jewelry aura.

But Hyukjae isn’t Eunhyuk; Hyukjae doesn’t smile or laugh at the bitter comments that his friends make. Hyukjae doesn’t show his gums when Jungsu or Ryeowook say that he was ugly.

Hyukjae is actually someone who has always been having too much burden on his shoulders. Hyukjae is someone who gets insulted and treated like an asshole when a girl cries because he rejected her on screen. Eunhyuk makes mistakes, and Hyukjae repays; this is how it works.

Donghae thinks that there’s actually something in Eunhyuk that Hyukjae doesn’t have. And something in Hyukjae that Eunhyuk doesn’t have.

Eunhyuk is confident; he doesn’t care of what others say about his looks or attitudes. Eunhyuk is strong; he’s able to hold Donghae between his arms and act as if they are the world’s biggest lovers. Eunhyuk is silly; He makes a fool of himself in front of myriad people without even caring about his image. Eunhyuk is bright; he shines on stage and illuminates the concert hall with his presence. Eunhyuk is a playboy; He says that he likes a girl on a certain show, rejects her, and then she cries.

But Hyukjae isn’t any of that. Hyukjae is someone who forgets that he is actually Eunhyuk too.

Hyukjae is someone who cries for his band mates’ future, Hyukjae is someone who breaks down when he sees the honor of Super Junior hoisted. Hyukjae cries when he leaves his everlasting radio show, Hyukjae is content for others’ happiness and Hyukjae is Hyukjae, that weak Hyukjae who doesn’t even handle a single droplet of alcohol, who doesn’t know the feeling of being drunk and who doesn’t care about his own state and runs to save his friend’s life.

But for Donghae, Hyukjae isn’t that weak Hyukjae. For him, Hyukjae isn’t Romeo or Antar. Hyukjae isn’t a hero or a savior. Hyukjae is Hyukjae, that Hyukjae who pecks Donghae’s lips to comfort him when he is feeling down. Hyukjae is the one that Donghae wakes up to each morning, messy hair and a strong scent of perfume and cologne. Hyukjae is the one who makes Donghae’s coffee when they haven’t any schedule. Hyukjae is the one who leans onto Donghae and asks him about what was bothering him. Hyukjae is the one who doesn’t notice tiredness in Donghae’s eyes but sorrow and sadness. Hyukjae is the one who cried along with Donghae when the later’s dad passed away. Hyukjae is the only one who didn’t say that it’s okay, don’t cry Donghae, your father will rest in peace and will know the true warmth of paradise, but he’s the one who said cry Donghae, cry. Don’t let your feelings devour you, I’m here, can you feel me? I’m here, right here.

Hyukjae isn’t an illusion; Hyukjae is someone who loves Donghae more than life itself. Hyukjae is someone who listens, understands and talks. Hyukjae is someone who can see through Donghae’s soul and heart. Hyukjae’s touches are real. Hyukjae’s words are clear. Hyukjae's presence is here. Hyukjae is alive, Eunhyuk isn’t.

Eunhyuk is all like a fictive character. Eunhyuk is present on screens, but Hyukjae is here, in this real life.

Eunhyuk isn’t Hyukjae. Hyukjae isn’t Eunhyuk. Eunhyuk is Eunhyuk and Hyukjae is Hyukjae.

“Donghae, I've missed you.” Donghae felt Hyukjae’s body against his, holding him, hugging him and whispering soothing words to him.

Right, Donghae thinks that if Hyukjae lacks Eunhyuk’s self-confidence, then Eunhyuk lacks something more important and precious. Eunhyuk lacks Hyukjae’s sincerity and tenderness.

Hyukjae is here, Hyukjae is touchable and reachable. Hyukjae is Hyukjae and nothing will ever change that. Hyukjae is Donghae’s, Donghae is Hyukjae’s.

Tags: donghae/eunhyuk, one shot
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